Still Not Entirely Sure
by Shazi-Chan
Summary: Sora is Sent to the Psychiactric ward of the Destiny Islands Hospital and no ones really sure what's wrong...
1. It Was Strange To Have Them Home

It was strange to have them home

_**Bleh, another fanfic I'll probably never finish, I'm terrible at these **__**sought of things but I promise this will get quite far before I drop it coz I really like this one.**_

_**It **__**Was Strange To Have Them Home**_

_Wednesday January 12__th_

I'm still not entirely sure what got them home or what happened after we were separated for the second time but I'm glad we're together again, where we belong.

Riku's mother Chihiro was in hysterics when she saw him. With tears, sobbing hugs and kisses and to top it off enough pet names to last Sora years. Speaking of which, Sora was stifling a fit of laughter as Chihiro fussed over her son's sorry looking state and "how much he'd grown over the past year"

After Sora and I left Chihiro to fuss over 'Muscle Man' (Riku's pet name when he was three) we burst into laughter. And were almost in tears by the time we reached Sora's home. Now I said Chihiro was in hysterics over her son, however compared to Sakura's reaction to her 'Baby Boy' Chihiro could be considered mildly emotional.

She couldn't string together a word longer than two syllables and eventually gave up and merely cried onto her son's (who was now taller than she was) chest. I think Sora did what was best when he used a sleep spell on her. I said goodbye to Sora and let them be.

I stopped when I was out of their gate and waved to Sora, who was carrying his unconscious mother inside.

The strange thing about that picture was that Sora didn't look relieved or happy at all, he looked sad, almost in pain and that worried me.

Kairi

--

_Thursday January 13__th_

Today Sora was no better.

At first I thought it was because I'd woken him at so early in the morning but I later figured out that he was used to waking up at the crack of dawn since there was nothing to block out the sun out in the open.

His spirits didn't seem to brighten much even after we joined Riku. There was a brief moment when he called Riku 'muscle man' but apart from that he was almost miserable.

I highly doubt meeting up with Selphie helped Sora or even Riku. She screamed in surprise after taking a few seconds to work out who they were. When we met Tidus and Wakka on their makeshift Blitzball field Sora still looked sad and Riku… looked much as he did when Selphie launched herself at him earlier: Irritated. Tidus looked up (they'd grown at least a foot each since he'd last saw them) and gulped. He asked how they'd gotten so tall and Wakka clapped him over the head

"They grew ya. An at da rate you're going, I doubt you'll get dat tall eh" he said and chuckled at his 'Tidus is short ya" joke, as he likes to call them. It was a pleasant afternoon, minus Sora's mood of course.

Kairi

--

_Saturday January__ 15__th_

Unfortunately Sora's mood didn't improve over the week. Riku on the other hand seemed happy to put up with Selphie's ADD and sugar issues, I think the novelty of home will wear off soon though.

Kairi

--

_Monday January 17__th_

Before I even realized it school was back. I set off first to Selphie's house, which I'd been doing the year they were gone and then let Selphie lead me to Riku's, (considering the state I'm normally in during the morning it was probably for the best) and of course he, Riku being Riku, met us halfway there. He grunted irritatedly (A/N: computer dictionary tells me that's not a word :O) when Selphie launched herself at him. I giggled which caused him to grunt again. This time angrily. Hello Riku's new form of communication.

We arrived at Sora's front door not long afterwards; I swear when it comes to it, that guy could sleep through just about anything if it meant he didn't have to go to school. Sakura answered the door and frowned at our uniforms

"Sorry guys, Sora doesn't go to school anymore" she said with a sigh. She glanced at our confused looks and explained with:

"We discussed it and decided it best for him not to go"

I heard Riku mutter something about his parents not letting him get away with that sought of thing.

I don't think Sakura was telling the truth about Sora but I can't exactly pry and find out, that'd be rude. I wonder if this will be a daily ritual. Heading to school with Riku and Selphie and hanging out with Sora on the island after school. I think it's unfair that Sora misses out on the happenings of the day but he never really was one for school in the first place.

I guess this will be my life from now on, having the two of them home again was strange, but it was a good strange, one I hope I can get used to. For now my world is complete and I'm happy, and I hope it'll be like this for a long time to come.

Kairi


	2. Hurtful Memories Almost Unfolded

Chapter two is Sora's diary entry

_**Chapter two is Sora's diary entry... as I said I quite like this one there's one of my favourite oc's to date in it…… but you haven't met them yet and I hope you like them as much as I do.**_

_**Hurtful Memories Almost Unfolded**_

_Wednesday January 12__th_

I think the novelty of being home wore off the second I saw my mother again. The last time I saw her in that state was when I was four and **…………**

And I can't even bring myself to write it in a diary.

I recall my mother bringing out the albums and going through them with me and crying every time she came to a pretty little strawberry blond girl and before we could get half way through them, she'd put them away and break out the alcohol.

I can't say I had the best childhood in the world, in fact I met Riku in one of the psychiatric wards, if I recall it was something about his older brothers being convinced that their mother (Chihiro, who's very much alive and well now) was dead, really called Jenova and she was calling all her children to her through spirit. He doesn't really talk about it much to say the least.

I had to knock my mother unconscious with a sleep spell to stop her from hurting herself and having a mental relapse. I can tell you now, the last time that happened weren't pretty. I was sorry that Kairi almost saw her in that state; I was probably no better anyway considering the grim look on her face she had when she left.

Sora

_Thursday January 13__th_

I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE SAID THAT!!

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT; SHE ACTUALLY SAID IT TO ME!

I AM NOT LIKE HIM! I'M NOT LIKE THAT HATFUL MAN!! SHE HAD NO RIGHT TO SAY THAT TO ME! NONE AT ALL!!

--

Monday January 17th

_Dear Ms Tanoshii,_

_It seems your son Sora is in a very poor state of mind and I would encourage you to not visit him._

_At the moment he is particularly violent and, despite his diminutive stature, is very difficult to subdue._

_It would also be in the best interest of any classmates, friends or other non-family relations, for them to not visit either, for he is rather unpredictable._

_When we reach a conclusion on his condition or if there is any improvement another letter will be sent to you in acknowledgement._

_Please await further word on Sora and be rest assured the staff is taking exceptional care of him._

_Kind regards,_

_Dr. Jasmine Benjits_

_Destiny Island Psychiatric Ward_


	3. Officially As Emo As I Look

Now is Riku's diary, thanks to a friendly suggestion from b-nothing

_**Now is Riku's diary, thanks to a friendly suggestion from b-nothing! Love you b… ummm yeah OC will be in it but not yet sorry if you're all in suspense. Thanks in advance for your reviews and for reading!**_

_**Officially Feel As Emo As I Look**_

_Wednesday January 12__th_

Omg I'm writing in a diary, I now officially feel as emo as I look.

Let's see… what has happened since I got home…

Mum freaked out and gave Sora enough names to mock me for the rest of my life I swear. But pet name me all he wants, I bring up the sweet little topic of his nice little teary when he found me and he's gone.

That or Roxas and Namine wanting to get busy. I can't believe I wrote that.

I could always bring up the stabbing incident, when "genius" stabbed himself in the heart to get Kairi's out. _"A keyblade that unlocks hearts…__**how about I stab myself?**__" _yeah _real _smart Sora.

He never was bright spark, probably never will be.

Riku

_Thursday January 13__th_

Sora didn't look happy this morning… or the rest of the day for that matter. Out of all the material he was given by my mother he only picked on my once, and even then it was half hearted.

I didn't exactly get a chance to ask what was wrong either, stupid Selphie and her high pitch squeals of delight. I'm not that that exciting.

Seriously,

-I normally reply to questions with a grunt

-I'm insulting

-I hate happy things (unless it's my friends, which _excludes _Selphie: she's Kairi's friend)

How is that exciting in anyway, really? Whatever

Man is Tidus short! Wakka's even made up a series of jokes called 'Tidus is short ya!'

He recited the ones he'd remembered and some of them were so funny. Even Sora (who's always been the same height or shorter) is at least a foot taller than him.


	4. She Ran From The Truth

She peered into his room and saw his sad lonely face

_**A/N: please ignore the craptasic poem in this chapter, I tried to write poetry and failed miserably. If you're confused about Hana all will be revealed so don't worry about it. This chapter's a bit longer than the rest because it's not just diary entries and until Sora's allowed to have a pen and paper it'll be out takes from Riku's diary in each one. I also tried to make this chapter longer by making it not all 'diary entry' style. hope you like**_

_**She Ran From The Truth.**_

_She peered into his room and saw his sad lonely face. It was hard to believe that in the past three days this boy had managed to maul four of the wards 'bouncers' three of which are elsewhere in the hospital for serious wounds._

_He looked up at her through his fringe and they locked eyes, she expected to see a lot of things: sadness, anger, possibly even hatred, but none of that was there. Simply murderous insanity, a glint in his eye that laughed manically in your face and said 'come a little closer.'_

_She shuddered as she remembered the last time she saw that look, this boys was almost identical to its senior._

"_Hana?" someone behind her asked, she spun around to see an albino man who seemed to know her. He smiled at her and offered her his hand. _

_Her eyes widened in fear and her breathing became difficult, her voice caught in her throat, much like it did when her therapist had got enough out of her._

_He blinked in confusion then drew his hand back, he cocked his head to the side and pointed to himself_

"_Riku, remember me?" he asked._

_Hana froze, he was the most famous JENOVA child. Simply because the three who started it were his brothers. Did she know him? Did he know her? It was all too much for Hana and she blacked out._

_Tuesday January 18__th_

I ran into Hana whilst visiting Sora; let's just say it didn't quite work out very well. I asked her if she remembered me…. Then she passed out. Kinda makes you feel rejected. I guess he didn't remember me though; either that or I've changed a heap… which judging by what Wakka said I have.

Visiting Sora wasn't such a good idea either. I waved to him from the door and he ripped off his strait jacket and almost tore the door down trying to get out.

I'm not sure if he was asking me to let him out or was trying to get to me and rip me to shreds, but whatever his intention, he did manage to freak me out.

Riku

_He looked in on the boy in the padded room, after returning the strawberry blond girl called Hana to her room. Being the boy's best friend he hoped he could catch his attention and possibly do him some good. He waved happily to him and incurred a reaction that he definitely didn't expect._

_The boy in the padded room growled_

_The boy lunged and tore_

_At the door that separated him_

_From the world he belonged_

_The world he saved_

_The boy shredded his inanimate captor_

_The boy in the padded room growled_

_Wednesday January 19__th_

I was told by my lovely therapist that I should visit the triplets… boy did she regret that as soon as she said it. The JENOVA incident is something I don't want to revisit and I'll wait until the three of them are over it before I even begin to forgive them.

I'm so over the therapist, but on a lighter note Tidus grew an inch over two days, Wakka made another joke "two down and, a hundred to go ya"

I love the 'Tidus is Short ya' jokes, they're so funny. I think Wakka may be dating Lulu as well, she turned up randomly at school and started talking to Kairi like they we're best friends, but then I may just be slow… Whatever.

I'm gonna try and visit Sora again tomorrow, I dunno yet but I might take Kairi too. I'm not sure how she'd react anymore. I hope she accepts the fact that Sora's not right in the head… anymore; he was sane for a while there. And he should be soon, hopefully

Riku

_They went to the ward together, she wasn't sure what he was showing her. She'd never had a reason to go to this part of the hospital, did he? She'd done a project on the JENOVA incident that occurred just before she __arrived; she read that many of the JENOVA children were still in therapy, but Riku seemed very much aware of Chihiro being his mother._

"_Up here" he pointed towards the violent patients. She didn't understand what was going on_

"_But that's where the violent ones are" she replied "why're we going there?" she asked_

"_You'll see" he replied simply and continued down the hallway till they reached room number 214. She began to shiver in panic. Was Riku going crazy? Whoever was in there could kill them if they got out._

_He gestured for her to look at whoever was in there, hesitantly she complied. She gasped and clutched at her heart in pain. How? When? Why? None of it made any sense. Why was Sora in there? Sora wasn't violent was he? Admittedly he does fight but those aren't serious fights. _

_She tried to steady her breathing but it proved pointless. Instead she tried to find her voice and failed miserably. She choked on her own words and felt the sting of hot tears in her eyes and that was it. _

_She'd had enough ad ran, she ran through the ward and knocked down a strawberry blond haired girl. She didn't stop to apologise she just kept running._

_She ran from the truth._


	5. Should've Yet Somehow Didn't

_**OMG (it was my birthday yesterday! I'm now 16 and need to update my profile..**_

_**Hey b ur b-day's in here too: happy (not really) birthday haha. Doesn't the end part just pain the loveliest picture in your head, I thought it was funny.**_

_**Should've (but somehow didn't)**_

_Riku glanced out the window, the starry night was visible only because of the dim lamp lit across the other side of the room.__ He opened the drawer closest to him and pulled out a black leather bound book marked 'diary' he opened it to a fresh page and examined it for a few seconds. He reached for his pen holder and chose one at random. He dated the page and began to write_

_Sunday January 22__nd_

I haven't seen Kairi in four days. I don't think she's left the house since I took her to see Sora. I have to say at least he didn't try to maul her. That freaked me out that's for sure.

Selphie asked me if I knew where she was yesterday

_Riku paused. Unsure of how to continue his sentence, he tapped the page a few times before continuing_

Selphie asked me if I knew where she was yesterday, dumb question Selphie I'm in the dark as much as you are. Why she asked me I'll never know. I don't even understand Kairi anymore, she used to be as easy to read as Sora is. Now it's impossible to predict what she'll do or how she'll react to what you say.

It may just be me though, I never really could understand girls. They're too complicated for my liking. They take offence to really stupid things, Kind of like Sora.

_Riku stopped writing to chuckle softly at his own comments before signing off his entry with is name_

~Riku

_Riku waved to Selphie as he left the schhol gates. He headed down the pathway to the heavier populated area of the islands.__ He passed the many houses and streets but took no notice. He was too focused on where he was going._

_He arrived at the hospital and headed for the elevator, taking advantage to the hospitals emptiness to be inconspicuous._

_He entered the psychiatric ward casually and greeted the nurse._

"_Dr Benjits would like to see you before you see your friend Riku" She replied and continued clicking things on her computer. Riku stared for a second and shrugged._

_DR. Jasmine Benjits was a tall woman, long curly brown hair and deep brown eyes to match gave her a friendly appearance. She smiled sweetly at Riku when she entered the waiting area and motioned for him to follow her into her office._

_Riku took a seat on the couch. He didn't lie down like most patients do, DR. Benjits took her seat on the lounge chair._

"_Now Riku" She started and Riku could predict the whole speech she was bout to come out with:_

Now Riku, you really should be visiting your brothers. It'll be good for you and them. You can't keep this bottled up forever. Blah blah some crap about his mental state, blah blah, the triplets' mental state, and blah blah end_._

"_How did you know Sora was here?" Riku was taken aback; it certainly wasn't what he expected._

"_I expressed specifically for Sakura not to tell anyone of his whereabouts and you show up a few days later. How did you know he was here?" She asked again_

"_I know Sora too well" he shrugged, he himself wasn't sure how to explain how he knew where Sora was_

"_That still doesn't answer my question" DR. Benjits replied darkly. Riku shrugged again. He seemed to be shrugging and grunting a lot lately._

"_I can't explain it, I just did" he watched the fake plant in the corner._

"_and the girl who came with the second time, who was she?" DR. Benjits questioned_

"_That's our other friend Kairi" he replied simply._

"_How close are she and Sora?" she inquired. Riku wonder for a while, it was had to explain to someone who didn't understand (or even know) the concept of heartless the connection shared by the three of them, especially Sora and Kairi. That goes deeper then the legendary paupu fruit._

"_I'm not really sure" Riku shrugged, he gathered it'd be easier then getting himself locked up in here because they'd consider someone who's seen the heartless nothing short of crazy._

"_I see, do you have a contact number for her? I'd very much like to question her personally." Riku looked back at her, and then pulled his mobile from his back pocket. He brought up Kairi's number and handed it too her_

"_There's no guarantee she'll answer." He replied. DR. Benjits took down Kairi's number and handed the phone back._

"_That shouldn't be a problem" she smiled sweetly again. "You're free to go, I'm sure Sora's expecting you"_

_Riku sighed in relief and left the room. He headed past the nurse, who didn't look up from her screen, and down the corridor to room 214._

_Since Kairi's visit Sora'd been less violent, Riku'd been let into his room to sit with him. DR. Benjits had suggested telling him what happened during school or something like that. Riku figured that wasn't something Sora wanted to really know about so instead he told him things about what'd happened from the time they separated in the realm of darkness and when they met each other again in the World That Never Was._

_Today was a particularly good day. Riku was at the part where he first met Roxas._

_He told Sora of his first fight with Roxas and how he lost and then decided that the way Sora was, describing how to give in to the darkness wasn't a good idea. He skipped to his second fight with Roxas and how he'd won and then to DIZ and his monitoring of Namine and then when Sora woke up and the various hint he'd left that should've (yet somehow didn't) let Sora know that he was alright._

_Riku had a good chuckle at that, then he said goodbye._

"_I'll bring a book tomorrow" he told him "I haven't got anymore stories to tell you" he closed the door as he left and walked home in the sunset._

_**End notes: as you can see we have Riku: messed up in the head by the darkness, almost killed his best friend complete with insane triplet brothers, leaving the hospitals psychiatric ward where he was visiting his best friend Sora: whom Riku tried to kill, was corrupted by Riku's brothers and now is completely crazy and wants too kill everyone, at a nice sunset. If that doesn't give a picturesque scene I dunno what will.**_


	6. The Rumour

_**Okay this chapter really bugs me for two reasons 1) it's as boring as hell and 2) nothing really happens of any excitement at all… 'cept maybe the hide and seek game… b I think we really need to brainSPEW, this is terrible**_

_**Did You Hear The Rumour?**___

_Tuesday January 24__th_

I searched my book shelf and found nothing of any interest at all, so I was forced to reminisce of the good old days with Sora. I did all the talking and he just laid there, all depressed and sad. I'll have to got through the library at school and hopefully find something of value.

Which reminds me, Kairi was at school today, she was pale and her uniform was almost falling off her. I don't think she's eaten in a few days.

Selphie literally force fed her lunch. Which I laughed at naturally. I think I'll wait for Sora to be moved from the violent patient section before I take her back to see him. Besides it might do him some good, the poor guy's probably sick of hearing me blabber on about crap anyway.

~Riku

"_Loz!" Kadaj__ called for his brother "Loz!" he cried, apparently Loz and Yazoo had decided to play hide and seek with Kadaj and forgot to actually tell him. Hana heard a lot of things like that, she might've been terrified of talking to others (hec, she had been petrified of her own mother up until very recently) but that didn't mean she didn't listen to what they say._

"_Hana!" Yazoo exclaimed as he entered her room uninvited (yet again).__ He hid under her desk, which was covered in a sheet, in the corner. He poked his head out from under the sheet "If Kadaj asks, I'm not here" he ducked back under again. Hana let him be and went for a walk._

_She walked up to the violent ones and peeked into room 214. Sora was still in there, despite the sudden stop of attacks on staff he was still in the room. Admittedly they'd given up on the strait jacket, though that was probably because he'd destroyed too many._

_He was lying__ on the floor and looked miserable. She left him be too, there was no way she'd manage to work up enough courage to say anything to him anyway._

_Thursday January 26__th_

Thank god DR Benjits decided to move Sora away from the violent patients. His room is even next to Hana's, though I imagine there'd be little conversation between them. Kairi's coming to see him tomorrow anyway; I hope that's good for the both of them.

I'm pretty sure they don't trust Sora with a pen yet so it looks like he can't even write notes to us. Won't that be fun? I'll bring Sora some things from his room, maybe that'll make him feel better. Maybe, I'm very doubtful.

Whatever.

~Riku

"_Riku, did you hear the rumour?" Selphie asked at lunch. Riku threw her a questioning look,__ he'd heard quite a few rumours flying around._

"_Which one?" he responded. She motioned for him to lean forward and he complied._

"_I heard one the other day about Sora" she whispered, Riku arched an eyebrow at her "I wasn't sure it was true so I thought I'd confirm it with you" she explained_

"_Selphie that's not telling me the rumour" Riku grunted and Selphie gave him an annoyed look_

"_Someone said he was in the mental ward. Is it true?" she asked quietly. Riku looked up at the sky. It really wasn't his place to tell her whether he was or not. Plus Sakura didn't know that Riku knew, and that could cause a problem._

"_I really don't know" he replied to Selphie, it was just easier to keep her in the dark until Sakura let the school know._

---

A/N: bleh… that was such a craptastic chapter I think I'll write the next one quickly to make up for it. Enjoy!!!


	7. Chasey

_**A/N: I said I was uploading this quickly because the previous one was crap so here it is. Sora's going to get a pen soon, I'm sick of using Kairi to fill in when Riku doesn't write anything.**_

_Thursday 26__th __January_

Riku said he'd come take me to see Sora after school. I don't really want to go. It hurts too much to see him so miserable, what hurts even more is not knowing why. I didn't think Sora and I had any secrets between us. I know I've never kept anything from him. What could be so terrible that he had to keep it from me?

~Kairi

"_C'mon Kairi" Riku tapped his foot impatiently; he knew Kairi was reluctant to go to see Sora but stalling like this was ridiculous. "honestly I'm sure he'll think you look fine" she told he she was still getting dressed and Riku didn't dare enter, his better judgment told him it wise not to. "If he even decides to look at us." He added to himself. She opened the door and stepped out. She wore a casual blue summer dress with a pair of matching sandals._

_They arrived at the hospital and Riku asked to see Dr. Benjits._

"_Why are we asking for one of the doctors? I thought we were seeing Sora," Kairi asked quietly_

"_You'll see" Riku grunted in reply. Dr. Benjits came out of her office, glanced and Riku then looked at Kairi._

"_This is her?" she asked. Her question directed at Riku._

"_Yes ma'am" Riku replied. Dr. Benjits wanted to see this girl, try to find out what it was bout her that stopped Sora from attacking people._

"_Go and see him, he might improve a little by a quick visit." She smiled warmly at Kairi._

_Friday 27__th__ January_

I can't believe it. Sora actually spoke to us. Kairi and I walked into his room. He was curled up on the bed, as he usually was, I sat on the chair and opened a book and let Kairi do her magic.

All she did was say hello. That's it "hello.' And he sat up and greeted her and me. She tried to talk with him after that but he only answered with 'yes' or 'no' and some 'mms' but it was still something.

I told her to bring a book to read to him tomorrow. I have an appointment with Dr. Benjits but I'm not gonna tell her that. I swear if Dr. Benjits tries to tell me to visit the triplet I'm gonna leave.

I never got into Sora's room to give him his things. Sakura wouldn't let me in the house.

~Riku

_Friday afternoon and both Kairi and Riku avoided the bombardment of question thrown at them from Selphie all day. They were headed to the hospital again. Riku had his appointment (which was unknown to Kairi) and Kairi was going to visit Sora for the third time._

"_You go ahead to see Sora" Riku told her "I'll be with you soon I've got to talk with Dr. Benjits." Kairi knew that Dr. Benjits was Sora's psychiatrist but what she didn't know was Dr. Benjits was also Riku's._

_Kairi went ahead down the corridor to find Sora's room but she couldn't remember what number it was._

"_Loz is it!" shrieked a man in front of her. He had silver hair, like Riku's, and was running down the corridor towards her very quickly._

"_Keep running Kadaj" a man who looked just like the first one, she now knew him to be called Kadaj, only with much longer hair cam around the corner_

"_Stop!" Kadaj screamed as he saw Kairi and tried to slow down before ran into her. Kairi tried to dodge them by pressing up against the wall and failed miserably and Kadaj tripped over her legs causing her to loose balance and fall on top of him. Seconds later the other man fell over both of them before he could stop._

"_We're sorry" Kadaj and the other man chorused to her and the helped her to her feet. Dazed, Kairi nodded to say she forgave them._

"_I'm Kadaj" the one Kairi had already figured out is identity introduced himself._

"_Yazoo!" the other one grinned brightly, "and Loz is the one who'll be here in a jiffy" Yazoo introduce a third ahead of time. _

"_I'm Kairi" Kairi regained herself. "Were you playing chasey?" she asked. They were fully grown men, she hoped, weren't they a little old to be playing chasey._

"_What the hell are you two doing?" Riku appeared behind Kairi. Kadaj and Yazoo instantly looked terrified_

"_We're sorry Riku" they screamed then ran away, at that moment Loz turned the corner and was hastily pushed back by Kadaj and Yazoo. _

"_Idiots" Riku muttered to himself._

_**A/N: there now, I'm thinking in the next chapter we hear some of Sora's thoughts on things, what do you guys say? Review and let me know coz I wanna give Sora a pen a paper back. Dr. Benjits can't keep them from him forever.**_


	8. Safety Marker

_**A/N:I have a hangover… nuf said**_

_**Safety Marker and a Stapleless Notebook**_

_Thursday 26__th__ January_

Its times like these I kinda realize why Riku fell into the darkness…

I know in the long run its only going to make things worse but the more I think about it the more appealing it is. I can see it just the way Riku described it to me. He called it a drug, an addiction that's so hard to beat. I know he's not quite over it yet. Just out of my reach is my own addiction to the darkness. I can feel it sapping away at me.

The only thing stopping me from reaching out and grasping that darkness is who I know is lurking it.

~Sora

_Sora tapped his pen against his notebook. Dr. Benjits had given him one that didn't have staples and his pen wasn't really a pen… More like a safety marker. Sora sighed sadly._

_He found himself doing that quite a bit in his time at the hospital._

_Friday 27__th__ January_

Dr. Benjits explained to me how my psychotic episode happened. Apparently I have a trigger, something that sets me off and really get me angry. Dr. Benjits doesn't know what that trigger is but I do.

When you read this (and don't try to tell me you don't because the point of this thing is for you to read the things I don't say to you) ponder over this Dr. Benjits:

Take a look at my family records. I think you might find something VERY interesting in there.

~Sora

_Dr. Benjits closed Sora's notebook. He'd given a clue to solving this mystery. Something in his family's history was his trigger._

_She went to her drawer and found Sora's file. She shifted through all her messy cribbles of theories and summaries till she found the piece she wanted. A copy of his birth certificate._

Name:_** Sora Jamey Hikari **_Born: 15th February 1994

Mother: _**Sakura Rose Tanoshii**_

Father: _**Jamey Gordon Hikari**_

Siblings:

1: _**Ventus Jordan Hikari (brother)**_

2: _**Hana Rose Hikari (sister)**_

_Jamey Gordon Hikari? She knew that name from somewhere. Placing the birth certificate on the desk she turned to her computer and did a quick search for Jamey Gordon Hikari. Thankfully the hospital computerized all of their records, it made it much easier for doctors to solve their problems._

"_Bingo," Dr. Benjits said to herself._

_Saturday 28__th__ January_

I saw Hana this morning. She came into my room and sat with me. She didn't say anything, she didn't need to really. Just knowing that she was brave enough to come sit with me for an hour was more than enough for me.

I knew it was rough on her. Heck it's rough on the whole family. The things that have happened to us, what HE did to us. I don't think we were ever really going to be normal.

Dr. Benjits wants me to write about my friends visiting. Honestly what's to say? They come in, say hello, tell me some stories about school and then leave.

There. I've said something now.

Are you happy?

Whatever. It's great to hear that everyone's fine without me. It's fine to hear that no one's actually missing me. I would think that the whole year away thing has made them just not notice at all.

~Sora

_**A/N: god it's been a while since I updated this fic… I haven't forgotten I was just tied up with homework and school and under the mistletoe and Sketch book girl… the list is endless really.**_

_**But I found my hangover cure. Strangely enough writing my fics eased my stomach, got rid of my headache and stopped my aching! Fanfiction and Apple/Blackcurrant juice what a hangover cure**_


	9. Jamey

_Sunday 29__th__ January_

I wonder why it is I'm still caring anymore. By all reasons I should have given up long ago, but I didn't. Whatever, I'm here now and Dr. Benjits has found my trigger.

What do you want? I freaking medal? Coz I and going to give it.

That nice discussion she had with me about it got nowhere at all. She only tld me things I already knew.

By the way, Jamey is the biggest asshole in all the world and I should know.

~Sora

_Sora sat, transfixed on the photograph of his father. God how he hated that man, everything was his fault in Sora's eyes. (except maybe the whole keyblade thing)but he was certainly the darkness within Sora's heart. Just like Xehanort's heartless was Riku's._

_His gaze faltered as Hana entered his room. She sat on his bed and watched him at his desk. Without a word between them he came and laid his head in her lap. She began stroking his hair and humming, the same song she'd hum when Jamey was beating Sakura almost to the point of death._

_All the memories Sora had long since thrown away and tried to forget forever came back. For the first time in years Sora felt truly afraid._

_Lost in his own memories he clung to Hana like a child. Her humming got louder to block it all out for him, to stop him suffering, but just like it used to, it didn't work._

_Monday 30__th__ January_

I can't remember much of Sunday after the session with Dr. Benjits. I remember the photo of Jamey she gave me and then Hana came in. after that nothing.

I also had a nightmare. I think. I can't really remember it, it's kinda fuzzy, but there was this guy who look really familiar who attacked Jamey, I think that may actually be the day Jamey died.

Dr. Benjits, do I have any other siblings besides Hana? I think I might have a brother.

~Sora

_Monday 30__th__ January_

Sora was much the same today. He didn't talk he just kind laid there. I don't think he even realized that Kairi and I were there. I wonder what's really going on in that head of his, because it can't be good.

I just hope he doesn't make the same mistake I made.

~Riku

"_So, you think he'll be okay?" Kairi asked Riku._

"_I don't know Kairi, we'll have to wait and see" Riku replied. He sure hoped Sora would be okay. There was too much at stake for him not to be. Sora was Riku's best friend, he doubted he'd be much use without him. And there was no way Riku would be able to protect the worlds from the heartless and nobodies on his own._

_Sora would work through it, Riku just knew it._

_**A/N: I know this fic has been on hiatus but I'm hoping to finish it along with several others before beginning a new one. I a few idea's going at the moment for other fics but I've put them aside for the time being and logged them away as notes. Hopefully I get this done then I'll get some new stuff up. Anyways enjoy this chapter hopefully a new one will arrive shortly.**_


	10. Ventus

_Tuesday 31st January_

I think Sora was a little more talkative this morning. Riku and I are going back to see him this afternoon, and Riku's brothers. I don't really see what Riku has against those three, if anything they're very childish, much like Sora used to be.

Maybe it has more to do with the JENOVA thing. I'm not sure, but I'm definitely looking forward to seeing Sora's improvements.

~Kairi

"_Afternoon Sora." Kairi said pleasantly. He nodded and continued writing with a safety marker. Riku had gone to his own therapist, Kairi wondered why it was his therapy was nowadays. It didn't seem like the triplets were affecting him in any way._

"_Hey Kairi, did you ever meet someone called Ven?" Sora asked Kairi. She was surprised,it was probably the longest sentence he'd strung together since he'd gone to the hospital._

"_What?" she asked. Sora blankly went back to writing and muttered, "Never mind."_

"_Let me think," Kairi said. Sora nodded and kept writing. "Sorry, not ringing any bells" she said after a while. "Why do you ask?"_

"_I have a brother, rather 'had', a brother named Ventus. He supposedly died when I was four but I don't remember him." Sora explained "I have a feeling he might still be alive, just out on one of those worlds out there." he looked out the the window. Kairi let him keep talking about everything on his mind, it was probably the first time for a while he'd spoken like this to someone. "i was four when he left, by all reasons I should remember him since that was when I met you but I don't" Kairi remembered her arrival on the islands. Sora was the first person she met and for that she was very grateful._

"_I don't even remember why I was on the island at the time, I'm sure there was a reason for it." he put the cap back on his safety marker and sat on the bed next to Kairi. "I know Naminé can manipulate my memories and I want her to find my memories of Ventus because I know they're there" he told her. "Can you do that for me?" he asked Kairi._

He would have to be unconscious.

_Naminé spoke in Kairi's head._

And he won't wake up until I'm finished.

"_Naminé said you'd have to be asleep for the process and she's not sure how long it would take" Kairi said quietly. Sora nodded, he was ready for it._

"_I can deal with that, I want my memories back" Sora replied. He laid down on his bed and waited for unconsciousness to take him._

_A light pulsed from Kairi as Naminé was released from her to watch over Sora and return his lost memories._

"_Good luck," she whispered and left Naminé to her work._

_Wednesday 1st February_

a note to Dr. Benjits

I'm going to sleep for a while. Some random drawings will show up in my room, and you may see a blond girl drawing things. Don't worry, everything is fine, she's meant to be there and she's not doing any harm. She's actually helping me.

I don't know when I'll wake up, I don't even know if this will work how I want it to, but please do not move me from where I am and let Naminé go about her business, she knows what she's doing. I appreciate all your help so far, you're a great doctor but I think you need to work on Riku and his brothers a little more.

~Sora

_**A/N: I think I'm finally getting somewhere with the plot of this. I had an exam today.. maths and I think I went okay, I walked into the exam hall and completely forgot everything I'd studied over the last two weeks D:**_

_**Thankfully it was an open book exam, I had all my notes in front of me the whole time. Otherwise I would've failed epically.**_


	11. Triplets

"_Good morning!" Loz, Yazoo and Kedaj greeted Kairi in a sing song manner. She'd been volunteering to look after them after school to help the hospital staff out._

_As it seems, taking care of three men at the age of twenty-four who think they're still twelve years old was a difficult task._

"_what are we going to do today?" Kairi asked them_

"_Hide and Seek" Kedaj suggested_

"_No, I wanna play chasey" Loz argued._

"_I'm not fussed" Yazoo shrugged. Kairi sighed. How to solve this dilemma?_

"_We could play hide and seek chasey" she suggested. She watched the reaction of the pair carefully. They both considered the idea._

"_How do we play?" Kedaj asked._

"_Well, like hide and seek, the person who's it counts to 100 while everyone else hides, but like chasey, just finding them isn't enough you have to tag them too." she explained. "then the person who was tagged counts to 50 while the other one hides and we continue the cycle." she waited for their response. They two of them looked at each other in silent conversation._

"_Sounds awesome!" they cried. _

"_I'll be it first" Kedaj said, she started counting and everyone quickly hid._

"_Come with me Kairi" Yazoo said quietly and grabbed Kairi's hand, leading her away from Kedaj. The went into a room belonging to one of the other patients in the ward._

"_Hi Hana, we're playing a new game" Yazoo greeted the strawberry blond girl in the room. She silently nodded and went back to work on something. Yazoo, hid under the table she was working at and Kairi behind the door._

_Kairi watched the girl work on her project silently, mouthing things to herself occasionally as she wrote. Hana, Yazoo said her name was. Kairi decided that she was either mute or she had that thing where you're afraid to talk to people. Since she was in the mental ward, Kairi was willing to bet on the latter._

_Kedaj burst through the door, starling Hana into dropping her pen._

"_Sorry Hana," Kedaj scratched the back of his neck. He bent down and found Yazoo. "found you, tag you're it!" he leapt up and bounded away. Yazoo sighed._

"_Get to know Hana Kairi, I promise I won't come tag you" he said quietly then left the room and closed the door._

_Kairi got up from where she was hiding and went closer to Hana._

"_Hello, I'm Kairi" she smiled pleasantly. Hana studied her for a minute._

"_Hana," she squeaked, cringing slightly like someone was going to hit her. Realising that Kairi wasn't going to attack her at all she relaxed, "you're friends with Sora?" she asked_

_Friday February 3rd_

Well what do you know, Sora has an older sister. Her name is Hana and I met her while looking after Riku's brothers.

She' really nice, but she has sociaphobia.

Oh and Naminé said she's getting somewhere with Sora's memories. Apparently the memories of his youth are buried VERY deep.

~Kairi

_**gah, I haven't updated in two weeks!! crazy mad studying for exams and panicking for them.... all for nothing they were easy anyway. I'll be updating (hopefully) regularly till the 7th when I head away from the internets. Please vote in the poll on my profile and read any other of my fics, it'd be greatly appreciated.**_

_**Loves you all**_

_**~Shazi-chan**_


End file.
